A Day At The Office
by Big Bad John
Summary: Snakes problems on the way to work and the bigger ones when he gets their. R+R you might just like it. READ THIS NOW I MEAN IT READ OR BE OBLITORATED.


I don't own Konami or any of the metal gear trademarks. I just write about them from time to time.  
  
A DAY AT THE OFFICE  
  
Solid Snake looked up. He saw a grey cloud float over to the sun, cover it and stop moving. He could have sworn that it looked smug. The first thought to cross his mind after this turn of events was. "Goddam weather". This soon changed to "Screw this for a laugh and a half". When the first few rain drops fell. It was at this point since the street he was on was deserted of pedestrians that he decided to resort to talking quietly to himself. If however someone was walking next to him they would have herd. "Stupid Otacon. Oh it's a nice day he said. We don't need you in any great hurry he said. Why don't you have a walk and burn up some calories he said. Tosser he is.  
  
He looked up momentarily and saw a taxi driving past. He waved, and wonder of wonders the car stopped. He stood there in awe of himself and almost regarded this as the greatest feat of his life ever - almost. "You getting in." "Soon. Let me saver the moment first." "Ok pal but the meters running" The words "meter" and "running" pulled snake out of his daydream. In this particular daydream Snake was being honoured as the luckiest man in the world for the amazing feat of being able to hail a taxi during rush hour. But back in the real world the taxi driver was saying. "So where to mullet man." Now say what you like about snake he is a pro at what he dose and never let's personal feeling interfere with work. That is unless they said he had a mullet. "mullet. Mullet. MULLET. Does this look like a mullet to you? A Mullet is where somebody shaves the top and sides of his head untill it is reduced to stubbel but leaves the length in the back." Snake dipped his head. "Does this look shaved to you." He was rubbing his hands through his hair at this point. "Does it." "No." The taxi driver said this with the utmost humility. "Where to" The sound of a nearby car horn drowned out Snakes directions to the main philanthropy office. Good thing the driver was good at reading lips. "I know the place". The driver said and off they went.  
  
They pulled up out side an old run down building with boarded up windows. "It's a bit scabby." "You is not to reason why my menial friend we're only a small company and this is all we could afford. This is just fine". "You the boss" He bit his lip to stop himself finishing the sentence with "mullet man." "Right so this is going to cost .... 50 bucks". "What. Are you shitting me". "I shit you not O master of mullets". "I told you, now you've pissed me off". Snake pules out his M9. "What the hell is that". "Don't worry, stun gun you'll wake up in half an hour or so. Oh don't look so shocked I was going to use this on you anyway to get out of paying. So you can drive into that car park and get knocked out there. Or if you prefer I could do it right know. Right in the middle or the road where any drunk driver could crash into you." The driver silently parked and snake shot an M9 dart into the back of his head. Snake walked up to the building and knocked on the door. "Password." This was said in a robotic voice. "Queef." Said Snake. "Password accepted. Welcome Solid Snake". Snake walked in to a busy office. He stopped and listened to the secretary talking into a head set phone. "Yes sir and what kind of service can we at philanthropy offer you". "What have you got." Said the phone. "Well we offer varying levels of infiltration and support. Low level infiltration we send in Raiden. Medium level we send in Snake. Top level we send in both of them. Then you have codec support. Low level you get one AI. Medium level you get two. Top level you also get two but you also get Otacon. And remember that our AI's come with a no corruption guaranty. You can mix levels of infiltration and support having low infiltration but top level support. And you always pay for expenses on top of that." "Expenses? "Yes. This isn't the only country with metal gears and air fair will be paid by you. Also missions sometimes last a while and involve the procurement or rental of expensive equipment. "Ok and how much dose this cost" "Well". At this point snake shook his head chuckled under his breath and walked away. He sat down at his desk of to be more precise his half of the desk. Otacon sat at the other half. "Are we rely so broke that we can't afford a desk each." "Yes Snake." "How's the schedule." Otacon started typing on his computer and brought up a spreadsheet. "Raidens booked for three months solid starting from next Tuesday. You have missions starting on the 12th and 25th of next month and there's a tandem mission no the 7th of the month after that." "Cool. Where is Raiden anyway?" "The simulator." "What else is new." He said with practised sarcasm. "What VR is he doing." "Coffee mission five." "Come again" "Well I asked him to run down to the Coffee shop and grab some for us and he said that he didn't feel quite qualified for it". "Whinging dickhead. He probably just used it as an excuse to play one of his self-help tapes." Then in a whinging voice. "Learning to accept me" Otacon chimed in, in his own whinging voice. "Making friends with me." And then in unison. "Helping me to avoid confrontation while still liking myself." They laughed. Then Raiden stepped out of the simulation room and they laughed some more. "Hey guys what's the joke." "Wouldn't you just like to know. Now if you're feeling suitably prepared go and get some coffee." "Oh go hide in a box Snake" "I do that anyway, now go get some coffee." "Do what the man said Raiden. Get some coffee." This last came from Otacon "Oh yea grab me some as well while you're there. The secretary shouted this across the room. "Remember the tape Raiden." Otacon was trying hard to keep a strait face. "If you leave now you will have avoided confrontation and you might just still like yourself." "Did you just say lick yourself" "Whatever works for you." Said snake. "Ok I'll just go then." "Good boy." Said Snake mockingly. Raiden walked out the door muttering to himself. "You know Snake we mock him but because we charge less for him he gets booked a lot more then you." "More chance of him getting killed then I suppose". Then Snake with nothing else to do loaded up a game of solitaire on the computer. "How many hands do you think I can win before Raiden gets back." "Fifty bucks says less then ten". "You're on." And that is what goes on at the philanthropy office.  
  
BY JOHN CILLIERS  
  
Well what do you think? Please review. 


End file.
